What did I think about before you touched my thigh? Let me say this: I’m going to touch you until my fingers fall off. If my fingers don’t fall off, I will hold your hand even if it’s sweaty. And let me say this: You are lovelier than clouds that look like lovely things. I have only loved a few times and the last time was when you rubbed my neck under the monkey bars. We weren’t much younger than we are now. I still have the same haircut. You still have only one dimple. It’s on your left cheek and it looks like you fell on a pebble. I love that it looks like you fell on a pebble. Let me say this: You taste like candy canes. There was a candy cane tree in my old neighborhood. My neighbor hung candy canes on the branches of the willow and I snatched them in the middle of the night. It was December when I rode my bike the quickest, like I was going somewhere to meet you. I like you more than the candy cane tree. Let me say this: I am uncomfortable in my own skin, so I hold your face. I hold your face and your hips but mostly your face. You have a lovely face. Let me say this: I love you like monsters like scaring little kids. I make a list of words I can use to diagram your body: petite, mellifluous, comely, milk, necessary. Please, forgive the humming; you see I rarely taste candy canes in March. When I don’t taste you I taste sweat. Not good sweat, mind you, sweaty sweat from the men’s locker room. Sometimes I taste pizza, but that’s only because I loved pizza first. Let me say this: My love for pizza was fleeting. I was young and naive and thought that extra toppings meant something. These are fine days because they end with you. Let me just say this: I’m going to kiss you until my lips fall off. If my lips don’t fall off, I will kiss up your spine until I run out of spine. Then I’ll start over.
"Notes on a Candy Cane Tree," Gregory Sherl
Bruce Banner was not always The Hulk.
He became that way as a result of a failed experiment
with a Gamma Bomb. Most of us, I think
have some failure we can point to in our past.
“This,” we say, “This is why I’m monstrous.”
The Hulk does not hulk out randomly.
Only when he’s stressed, or angry.
When Bruce Banner disappears into the other guy,
he doesn’t remember being Bruce Banner,
He’s just some wild force of nature who can’t
control his hands.
Having an anxiety attack feels
like living through death.
A person should not be able to endure that kind of fear
and keep breathing. But still, every time
my lungs and heart betray me. I keep not dying.
The Hulk can’t kill himself. He has tried.
It is so hard to live half monster, to hurt everything
you love by trying to protect it wrong.
I keep trying to protect you from me.
From the nights when I drink the whole bottle,
From the days I don’t get out of bed and just hide
from everything. I don’t Deal With Things well.
I’m not Good At Being An Adult.
When I get scared I can’t control my hands,
I would do anything to make myself feel better.
Even hurt the ones who are trying to save me.
When I calm down, when I can breathe again,
I feel like a superhero at the end of the movie.
When the war is over, and the bad guy is gone,
and he has to walk home through the wreckage
of the city he destroyed by trying
to be a savior.
If I am being honest, I know
I can’t save you. I can’t even save myself.
The thing about the Hulk is he would give anything
to be less interesting.
To be normal, to never again wake up
-Hulk, Clementine von Radics
naked and lonely, staring at the destruction
with no one to blame but himself.
Title: I Love To Love
Björk’s first recording, aged 11 (1976)
A cover of I Love To Love by Tina Charles
my house is making funny sounds and it’s the part of harry potter where bathilda bagshot is actually nagini and i’m freakin out a little